#iRefuseToGoMad

“You largely constructed your depression. it wasn’t given to you therefore, you can deconstruct it.                                               -Albert Ellis.

Hello guys. First of all I’d like to apologize for kinda running away….. I’ve not posted anything in a veery long time. Thinking about it now, it’s really not my fault… I mean I was busy, too busy doing really important stuff to think of things this trivial na C’mon. Lol

But seriously I’m sorry guys I wasn’t all that busy. Yeah there was school and stuff but I kept making excuses blah blah lemme not bore you with the details the important this is that I’m here now right? Good! I love you people…… very cooperative.
So I’m going to talk about depression (by talk I just mean typing my own view….though it may be sorely incorrect).
Anyways, depression. Hmm. Why the heck am I talking about a topic this depressing? Truth is that I don’t really know. You see, I’ve always seen myself as a very happy person I do the usual happy people stuff; make people laugh, make myself laugh, e.t.c e.t.c generally have fun at all the appropriate times always smiling to everyone…..except my siblings of course. Don’t even let me start with those ones (love you guys!!! – just in case you are reading) *rolls-eyes* inwardly. lol.

What is depression like? You can’t really know what it’s like until you are going through it or have gone through that dark spell before. It’s kinda like drowning except that you can see everyone around you not drowning, and well…. Breathing. Depression is a health problem and I strongly disagree with people who say it’s not a disorder that you can fight it on your own blah blah because mostly you can’t and you would have to seek professional help but I also think you have a big part in fighting it. You always have this ongoing battle, everything is just muddled up and in a huge mess and it’s all happening right there in your head. You feel that at times your head might explode. And that might just be fine because at least you will stop feeling all that pain. You know there is a problem. You know there are lots and lots of problems but you can’t just figure out exactly what they are. I mean that’s the whole point of depression- you can’t be depressed unless you don’t know what’s wrong, you feel hopelessness all round, you feel everything is going wrong every time, it’s just you and the whole world just feels separated from you. Basically you feel bad, I mean really really bad.

I know that feeling.

You know, when I checked the internet sometime back on how to solve depression naturally I saw things like;
-Move your body
-Set goals
-Expose yourself to sunlight which can boost your mood levels………..
Seriously???? Are these people alright at all? Who told them it works!! Sunlight. Sunlight?? Lord God of mercy. Heck NO!! Then I came to the part of never skip a meal, eat well, and I nearly smashed my laptop into bits. These people just don’t understand. (it might actually work for some people….who knows?)

I can’t say there is a specific way of solving the depression issue. But I think seeking medical help is key. Most people with depression hardly ever pursue that path because they don’t think depression is an illness. I would have said you should think of positive thoughts but that is the most laughable suggestion ever because as someone depressed you don’t have ANY positive thoughts all, you don’t think anything good has ever happened to you. But my advice to you is that you shouldn’t let a problem that you do not know the exact source of overwhelm and destroy you. You shouldn’t find comfort in only being special and one of a kind, but you should know that you are not a ‘good for nothing’, idiotic, useless person and that YOU are important, if not for anybody else but for yourself and because you choose it to be so.

Oh I nearly forgot.

Did you know?
Studies show that pretending to be happy when you are not increases your mental pain and makes you feel even worse.
  Goodnight and God bless peeps.

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17 Comments

  1. I think that you can heal depression on your own. You have to be willing to look in the mirror and dig deep inside of your self for the answers. I could be wrong though. Being that different things work for different people. Years ago, I went through depression and overcame it. Here is how I did it https://goo.gl/bzTGOq. I think that most people go through episodes of depression. It’s all in how you choose to handle it. I don’t agree with Anne J. on saying that we can’t control our thoughts. I think that we can. The ability to be able to control your thoughts is the difference between the people running the world and the people who are aimlessly looking for answers. Plus if you KNOW that you are depressed then you know there is a reason. Now if you don’t know that you are depressed then that is a whole other problem in itself. You may need to seek medical attention. The more I study and KNOW THYSELF, the more I am realizing that we have all the answers to our problems already buried within us. We have to dig them out. I pray that you find the answers that your looking for!

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. This is a very good post. I thought at first you were gonna say something like the quote, which I understood to be, “you created your depression, you can destroy it” and I was getting ready to attack. Haha. I’m glad you understand that most of the times, as much as we would like, we cannot re-direct our mind to tell our emotions to just be happy. In fact, the people who are always “happy” sometimes show that mask because of the despair inside. It’s easier to laugh than to cry. It’s more acceptable to laugh than to cry. We can do all those “positive thinking”, move, exercise, laugh, go out, etc. but they will only truly work and have the permanent positive result if done with proper treatment – psychologist, and if the psychiatrist prescribes, medication. As I understand, it’s a wiring in our brain and the medication helps re-wire. It makes sense to exercise. The problem people don’t realize is a person with depression doesn’t have the same “drive” as a person without. I mean, seriously, people without depression find it difficult to exercise, imagine how difficult it is for one with a chemical imbalance in the brain. Prayers help but it is imperative to get to the root of the problem and fix it – I’m only looking at this now because I did everything everyone said 18 years ago and every time some thing happens that’s outside of my pretend happy life, things fall apart, me with the things. Unless, I’m just an old spoiled brat. 🙂
    By the way, thank you for visiting my blog. I really appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Marquay, I’ve been there. I know. I used to be on medication for decades. Psychology teaches you that you can understand yourself. Socrates even said “Know thyself.” But the Bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” The psychiatrists will never get to the bottom of the human heart, but God knows our hearts. Comedian Louie Anderson talked about coming from an unhealthy family and that was why he got into comedy. I, too, used to be the family jokester. It made me happy to make people laugh, but it didn’t make my pain go away. Once my sister said to me, after I quit being the family entertainer and started talking about how I was REALLY feeling, “Who can stand to be around you, you’re so depressing.” So I quit being around her. My family was unhealthy and they still are. I have no “family” today except fellow believers in Jesus Christ. Today I was listening to June Hunt on Hope for the Heart (on BOTT Radio). She had some good insights. Today I accept my feelings–my “bad” feelings and my “good” feelings. I have had to deal with my addictions and clean up my act and my behavior. I used to call my depression being in “the black pit of despair.” Hormones might have played some role in it, but my lifestyle was ungodly. A person told me once, “Our feelings are our feelings. They are neither good nor bad. They are just feelings.” I tend to live by mine, though. But I used to never be grateful. I was not thankful for anything. Today I have learned to be thankful even for the bad things. I pray the Lord blesses you and keeps you safe. I pray the healing of Jesus for you. Abraham in the Bible said he was just a sojourner here on earth. I am a sojourner here on earth. This is not my real home. Heaven is my home. You take good care of yourself and be good to yourself, Marquay. God bless you.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I hope it will encourage you, Marquay. You are a special creation of God, and don’t you forget it! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. He loves you just as you are and wants only good things for you. You will be in my prayers….

        Liked by 1 person

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